I have the best intentions to try to get better. I go to bed at night and promise to try harder tomorrow.

But tomorrow never seems to come.

I see the numbers. I can understand logically where everyone is coming from. I know they are right. I laugh at their accusations because in reality I know they are true.

But you can't force yourself to do something you don't want to do. I feel like I earned this. I take their criticisms as compliments. It means I'm doing something right (even though I know it's wrong).

I'd like to say that I'll do better, try harder (or at all). But I don't think I'm there yet.

Edit:

I just realized I wrote basically this same thing back in March. Wow. So much for progress I guess.