I'm not the same.

It affected me more than I even realized I think. Because ever since I have been a shut-in. I never want to do anything. I would rather stay home and watch House re-runs than actually live life.

I want to change. But it's almost too late. For two years I have lived this life. I make my own plans and do my own thing. I don't rely on anyone else. There are no disappointments in my life. But that's only because it's hard to be disappointed when all you do is watch TV. My biggest disappointment is when my favorite player doesn't win Survivor.

That's not what I want. I have been living this way for two years. Hiding. I didn't even realize it but I think that's what I've been doing - hiding from life. And now that I'm finally to the point where I want to get out in the world again, I don't even know where to begin. I missed out on all the social bonding that's supposed to happen in college. I wasn't interested then. I was still in pieces. But now what? Where do I begin?

I have no idea. And that's a problem.